So would you actually go here for braids?

So ..... ummm yeah. Raise your hand if you would actually get your braids done here?

Exactly what I thought ... Chile, BYE! Place looks all kinds of sketch. How can I be sure you aren't going to use hair from a Cabbage Patch Doll in my head if there is no sign on the front door? 

Photo credit: Joel Kurth

Now, Oumy might be able to lay my braids down like nobody's business. She might be able to beat these edges down like the Gawds, but I will never find out, I swear

Braids on Eight Mile Road 

Oumy's is on Eight Mile Road near Kelly in Detroit. And as much of a born and raised Detroit homegirl as I am, this ain't happenin'. 

Some places you just don't go.

The only sign on the front of the building looks like it saw the wrong end of a blow torch. The sign on the side of the building isn't much better: Looks like somebody painted it using a Dollar store paint brush and leftover mistake paint from The Home Depot.

I cannot with you today, Oumy!

Now, I'm fully aware of the term 'hole in the wall.' But that does not mean that I would patronize such an establishment and trust it with my crown and glory! You know how much time I spent on this hair? 

No ma'am and no sir! 

Just why?
If it all goes left and you leave me #teamnoedges, I need to know how to ... ahem ... get recourse, if you will. How do I find you? Especially when the front door is boarded up with a piece of plywood and appears to be padlocked?

Curb appeal much? And just who is 'Oumy'? Is this a government name? Is the number even legit? Bye, Oumy, whomever you are! 

E'rybody can't play in your head

I'd rather have a crooked neck sitting at someone's kitchen table while they're doing my braids, with them eating Chinese, watching Judge Greg Mathis and Maury and running after their bad ass kids, than mess around with Oumy. Or have my head dangling under a kitchen faucet while getting my hair scrubbed with Dawn dish soap, than deal with Oumy's foolishness.

Because, you see, I know what to expect from the hood beautician. Hey, a girl's gotta save coins somehow. But Oumy? I am really not so sure about any of this. Braids and taxes are not exactly complimentary. 

Will be edges be snatched and my taxes done?
Can I pay for my Sengelese twists using my tax refund?

Must I give Oumy my W-2s to get some zillions?

IJS. These are all things you must know.

Weave loans are a thing??

Clearly, this is a big joke and we are all getting "punked." You do know Detroit do some hair (yes, I said 'do'). So ... my social media feeds have been littered with this so-called Weave Loan store out of the D that specializes in weave loans.

Wait. What? So I looked it up. There should not even be a market for a weave loan. But you just know somebody will spend their last few dimes on their weaves. And what's even more disturbing is their advertising message ...

"Now you can afford to be beautiful."

Miss me with that, K! You don't need be weaved up to be beautiful. We are beautiful with or without weaves, thank you! Clearly, we are all getting punked on social media, and this is an attempt to profit from perceived insecurities.



Is the weave store legit?
Now, I'm not entirely convinced this is a thing. If it is ... it's getting some helluva press. The website looks kinda bootleg. Who, exactly, would give their social security numbers, government name and paycheck stub to this outfit, looking like they paid $20 for a website designed by Pookie?

Not me!

No physical address, only an email address. But they DO have Instagram, social media, Facebook and YouTube accounts. Sounds suspect!This gets the sideye. All I know is that they are on 8 Mile Road in Detroit ... But 8 Mile and what? Where?

UPDATED TO ADD: The store is located at 21621 Eight Mile Road, Detroit, MI 48219.It has a Google Maps link and e'rrythang.

Here's a pic:

Still, I'm calling it clickbait until I know a bit more. This is what their website advertises:




Don't believe the weave hype!
The whole thing sounds sketchy to me. We don't know the business owner's name. An article on MadameNoire.com lists two co-creators, one of them named "Fred," who started the business after a customer wanted to purchase weaves but could not afford it.

Ummm .... Fred. Hol' up. I'm sure you need my gubmt name for the application, so I'm gonna need to know your name too, boo! 

Apparently, the owners decided to be the middlemen ... umm... hair loansharks ... putting customers in contact with lenders. The owners insist they’re just “providing options for customers to better afford weaves.”

“We’re going to treat our customers with respect. We’ll give them viable options; we won’t be exorbitant. Loans will be reasonable and attainable. We want them to know we’re sensitive to our demographic. We’re not going to disenfranchise our customers.”

I am not entirely convinced. I mean: But WHY?

Will yo' edges be secured as collateral? Are you gonna snatch my weave for non-payment? Will you repo my Yaki? Put a GPS on the Malaysian if the weave installment payment account is 60 days or more overdue? Will the Weave Loan Store lasso the lacefront after 90 days, with binding arbitration in weave court?

Bottom line: What does it cost?
They have loans for rims and tires, why not weaves? Umm.... all I can say is, don't hate the playa, hate the game.

I'm not mad at this business for catering to its target market (cause we all know that folks will spend their rent money and more getting their weave laid) but I'm mad at anyone who decides to take a weave loan. Or even considers it. 


Why weave loans are BAD idea
Weaves are discretionary expenses; it is NOT a financial emergency. You will not die if you do not have your weave in. But for real tho. Like, a loan for someone else's hair on your head?

What are your terms?
Is it simple interest?
Daily interest? Is this like, a payday loan?
WHAT, Fred!!

I can think of a lot of things to go into debt for ... a college education. A business. Even the American dream of a home with a picket fence. But weave, tho?

My motto is, "Do you." But pinky swear promise: Make sure you can afford it. Got any money in savings? Can you eat your weave? Live in it? Is it really worth it to pay interest and go into debt on some hair that ain't even your?

Get your melanin up!

Stunning pics. Gorgeous skin.

Kaone Kario
Photo Credit: Robert Grischek

Ciara is the new face of Roberto Cavalli

Ciara is the new face of Roberto Cavalli's Fall/Winter 2016 line ....

And let me tell you ... she SLAYS!

I am glad to see Ciara take her career to new heights and do something different.

Let's be honest: Although she is an ATL favorite entertainer, her recent albums have been .... meh. Let's just say folks are not feeling the love.

Which is why I'm so glad that she's using her natural beauty in other ways. She's a stunning woman and new mom. I only wish I could see her in her natural hair!

.

Ummmm ... nooooo

Cultural appropriation is a MUTHA!

These are not 'twisted mini buns' they are damn bantu knots. If you are gonna snatch, snatch right! Don't you just hate it when natural hairstyles on us are considered 'ghetto' but on white folks, they are considered 'hot' and 'high fashion.' Enough of the BS.

Love these pics

Hah!

Yaaasss! So true!