Thursday, December 29, 2016

The thot of hip hop

No sooner than Drizzy and Jenny from the block announced their 'situationship' -- I mean, what else do you call it?-- on Instagram, the tea began spilling on social media. And chile, the good, strong Earl Grey tea, too.
Now, I am not the biggest J. Lo fan (chile, my memory is long and I  remember Puffy and the N-word in the early 2000s, mami, nevermind  the only difference between her and me is where the slave ship dropped our people off, but I digress).
But I'll be dayum if y'all sit back and try to drag Jennifer and the thot of hop hop -- who has by media accounts and his own sexual braggadocio, ran all up and thru more women than I can count -- gets a free pass while he's outchere damn near needing a penicillin drip.

This negro has never met a cooch he did not like or rap about.

The Ho code

Y'all smoking meth, crack and heroin if you think any of this mess is gonna be OK.

Now, I may have my doubts about the authenticiy of this relationship. You do know both of these people are flaky as the avalanche of snow that's probably falling in Buffalo, NY and Chicago right now. And be honest: We all know Drake is dusty and thirsty as hell and comes across as a 13-year-old fan girl most days.

And well, Jennifer ... chile, we remember that green belly button cleavage dress and how she long she rode that horse when she was with Puffy. We see you, Jenn. Let's just say Ms. J-Lo has never meet media coverage she did not like.

But don't even fix your lips to say anything about Jennifer's sex life, when half of y'all ain't said shit about shit about Drake's hoeish ways. This ain't something you can speculate about, this is what you know: Hell, the man put out a so-called 'man ho' manifesto just the other week.

Did y'all take some kind of Ho pledge and I didn't know about it? I side eye ALL f the foolishness.
Sirs, your double standards are showing. Drake's thing is about to fall off, and all I hear y'all  talking about is J-Lo's pocketbook. I don't care if J Lo is the Elizabeth Taylor of Hollywood with her multiple marriages, you cannot drag her and stay as quiet as a church mouse peeing on cotton when it comes to this Hip Hop thot.

The double standards of hip hop
See how that works. Imagine if a woman in hip hop had as many lovers as Drake is rumored to have. Actually, it's no "rumor," since he's pretty open about it. Y'all would drag her by her bundles, edges and mink lashes. And you know this. That's the thing about sexism. 

Some of y'all so busy calling out a woman's number of lovers like it's a so-called badge of shame, but say nothing about the dude smashing anything that's moving like he just won the "Ho of the Week' award and you have the trophy.

I shouldn't be surprised. I mean. It's not brand new, seeing as tho hip hop has always been like this. So I should not be surprised. Guess I expected better. But it is 2016 tho and I thought maybe folks would have gotten a clue by now. I was wrong.

I can't with y'all standards on the sliding scale. I'mma sit right here and sip my tea and lemonade tho.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Has someone ever touched your hair without permission?

I am not really sure what's going on here. But while filming Ocean's 8 in NYC, actress Sarah Paulson grabbed Rihanna's faux loc.

Chile ...maybe it's for a scene in the film. Rihanna's face tho? NONE of this will be good.

Now had I been sitting near them, I woulda got my pocketbook and got right the hell up.

Cause somebody 'bout to get dragged. 

Lemme put some of y'all up on game right quick: I don't care if she is wearing a weave down to her ass, is rocking a headful of thick, luscious curls or has a teeny weeny afro, do NOT ever touch a Black woman's hair without her permission.

If you've ever thought about it, wondered what our hair feels like or are just hair curious, just don't do it without permission. Don't try to cop a hair feel on the low; it's called CONSENT.

ASK. And don't be in your feelings if you get a 'heeeelllll nawl' as a response. Trust me. This is not a circus or a petting zoo -- and it is HER body.

Hair is sacred -- so much so that many of us were raised to carefully and properly discard  shed hair.

So you can only imagine how we are about the hair that grows from our scalp. We are sensitive   AF and play no dayum games about it. 

If you've even thought about it, please refer to my first sentence. I will not be responsible for the ass whuppins that might happen as a result. Do it and you might draw back a nub so ....

Alright. You have been warned.