Sunday, November 30, 2014

About that 'struggle' tail and Devante's foolishness at the 2014 Soul Train Music Awards

By Tenisha Mercer

As a teenager in the 90s who bumped Jodeci on my stereo (remember those?) on the regular, I could not wait to see the Jodeci reunion on the Soul Train Music Awards. I was ready to get my 90s life. I was watching. And then this right here happened ...

I turned my head to the side: What is that sticking out of his head? Is that a hair pouf?

'Struggle' tail??

Lawd. First, where and the hell has Devante been? He was my favorite, and I had the biggest crush on him. And why, Lawd, why, did he have to return rocking this side mop of a curlytail on his 40+year old head?

I just CANNOT. 


Really, I can't figure out what I am mad about most  -- the alleged lip synced performance from the best-selling R&B group in the 90s or that Devante thought it was cool for this side bob of a ponytail (that face tat don't help, Devante) to ever see the light of day; I think the pony wins.

Bless his heart.

I need to see the stylist who approved this ish. Fire they ass.  Because I really can't figure out who thought this side S-curly ponytail --  held together with a ponytail holder that's bigger than the ponytail itself -- would EVA be a good idea.

And a slicked down ponytail at that? We all remember from the 90s that Devante had fine hair, but for real? Was he trying to prove something here -- cause a whole lot of chicks (we all rocked perms in the 90s) are wishing that their hair could lay down so straight, like this, right now, today, with that fresh touch up look. And you know I'm not kidding.

Really, I could not focus on them performing, "Wanna Freak You," and a compilation of their hits with this ponytail foolishness. Somewhere, I think this is K-Ci and JoJo's payback for some failed reunion concert Devante didn't attend. Or maybe it was that horrible display of drunkenness and the impromptu concert at a Subway back in 2010. Or maybe it's because he didn't appear in KC and Jo -Jo's reality show a few years back.

And what about Dalvin? Good bruhs don't let their bruhs go out like this.  I just sat there and shook my head. My 90s moment was down the drain, because folks didn't talk about the performance (mostly) but about Devante's hair.

Brown gel kit  

Did the stylist slick this down with some Ampro brown gel, a bristle brush, some water and a scarf or a doo rag to lay them edges down? Cause you just don't get these types of side ponies without a little bit of work, you see.

Somebody, somewhere, took enough time to tame that unibrow of Devante's, I see, with arched and groomed manbrows. I demand to know who gave the green light that let this three inches of ponytail laid to the side, slide. Who would ever think that, the same ponytail, afro puff, curly puff, curly pouf, struggletail, whatever you want to call it, that a two-year old girl wears, would EVER look good on a grown ass man?

I'm sure Don Cornelius, rest his soul, is ready to climb out of the grave and SNATCH this struggletail right out of Devante's head. Black Twitter is straight CLOWNING this hairstyle; the memes have just begun.

Is this the new ponytail over, AKA comb over, with just three inches of hair?

Here's a word of advice: Don't, just don't do this. Ever again. Please. Or Black Twitter is coming for you.

No comments:

Post a Comment