That's the question Kandi Burruss and Todd of the Real Housewives of Atlanta are debating in front of an audience of millions on a recent episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Todd is deadset against the idea of Kandi wearing a bonnet, and says as much in the video transcript below:
Todd: "Let’s be real. I’m not Tyson Beckford and you’re not Rihanna. When’s the last time you didn’t have the bonnet on and you put some heels on?”
Kandi: I had the bonnet on my hair before we got married and it was not a problem.”
Todd: If I say the bonnet doesn’t turn me on, you gotta be like ‘You know what well maybe I don’t need the bonnet on. Like, you have to compromise. ... Man have you seen a lady at night with a bonnet on? The most thirstiest dude wouldn’t get it up!”
To be fair, this is an issue that Black women know all too well; Black hair often requires care and maintenance and a bonnet, head scarf or a doo rag is often apart of the nightly routine for millions of Black women worldwide.
And it's been this way for HUNDREDS of years. Are men acting brand new now? Or, were they fed up a long time ago? Hmmmm..... I am grateful my husband could care less about a bonnet; he'll remind me to wrap my hair up because when I'm tired, it's the last thing I'm thinking about.
And let's be real. While I'm on team No Bonnet in Public, wearing them to bed ....
There has got to be a better workaround on this issue -- on both sides. I truly hope this marital spat that has put bonnet wearing front and center before millions is truly just a reality TV ratings ploy. There are other issues, seemingly at play here -- such as the newlywed couple having sex once a week (their words).
Larger issues loom
Why should wearing a bonnet effect a couple married for just six months?
It absolutely should not -- especially if Kandi was wearing a bonnet to bed BEFORE they got married. There is a such thing as compromise, on both parts. There is a workaround and I know a whole lot of men would not let a bonnet stop their marital relations -- no, sir, no, way.
The solution is real simple: Take the bonnet off while doing the do and then put it back on when you're done. Or Todd can buy Kandi a satin pillowcase. Problem solved.
Would you NOT wear a bonnet if your man asked?