Dark Girls Tonight on OWN

By Tenisha Mercer
www.HairNista.Blogspot.com

The issue of colorism in the Black community -- specifically, against dark skin -- takes front and center stage tonight when Dark Girls premieres at 10 p.m. on OWN.

This whole thing has me feeling some kinda way.

As much as I would like to think this doesn't exist in 2013, we all know that it does. The same cruel things that were said to me about my skin on the playground are still said today. Sadly, things haven't changed.

It's a process that I wish young girls don't have to go through, like I did. It took me until my late teens to finally begin the process of appreciating my complexion.

Let's Talk about It

Dark Girls is definitely a validation of the pain that I -- and others -- went through and currently go through. You can't heal from something until you recognize it and make a decision to move forward. The same colorism that effects dark-skinned girls also limits our lighter-skinned sisters.

Their hurt is no less painful, and this isn't some sort of competition to see who hurts more; we are all victims, whether you were teased and ridiculed because your skin was supposedly too dark or because it was supposedly too light.

No one wins.

Each of us has a story. Maybe, by watching this documentary, we can all come to grips about the pain and let the healing begin.

Will you watch Dark Girls?

CNN's Soledad O'Brien Examines Colorism in the Black Community

By Tenisha Mercer



CNN's Soledad O'Brien asks, "Who is Black America?"

Who is Black in America?

Soledad O'Brien examines that question and answers in her latest CNN installment, "Black in America," Sunday, Oct. 9th at 9 p.m.

What an appropriate question. Nearly 200 years after slavery, Colorism, the practice of intra race cdiscrimination based on skin coloring, is still alive and well in the Black community. And while this isn't a hair issue per se, it has EVERYTHING to do with how we view ourselves -- and how we accept our natural hair, even.

More than just who is Black, Soledad also examines the experiences of a bi-racial woman who identifies as white , revealing that "Black" isn't always so clear cut: Is it an experience or does it solely stem from race, even as more Americans are bi-racial and identifying themselves as such

Who's "Black" and Who's not?

But back to colorism. That's my issue; take one look at my skin and you know I'm Black. But what you may not know is that it was often the subject of riducule.

As a child growing up in the 80s, the message was clear: light skin was in. And that message was drilled into us, from the types of girls we saw in music videos to the guys who were the subject of affection. Black wasn't very beautiful.

We Still Face the Color "Issue"

That has changed,  and we now see Black people in all different hues.

But ask any kid and they'll tell you that colorism is still very much apart of our community. As someone who was teased for my cocoa brown skin as a child, I can tell you that nothing much has changed: Kids still mercilessly tease dark-skinned children, and light-skinned children face discrimination as well. Dark girls still have woefully few role models in TV and film.

That's the thing about colorism; it doesn't always mean that darker skinned people are teased; sometimes, lighter skinned people are also teased. Either way, the pain still hurts the same. And it damages generations, poisoining families who unfairly treated members of their family who they deemed to be too dark or too light.

Creating yet another generation of Black folks who dislike their color.

O'Brien herself is "bi-racial" but said she identifies as Black. Her newest topic is among several issues she's tackled as part of "Black in America,."

We can talk about it until the cows come home; but until little girls and boys aren't teased for being "too black" or teased for being "light bright", then we really haven't come as far as we think we have.

Have you experienced colorism?

Bloggers Go Hard on Baby Blue Ivy Carter

I usually don't deal with issues of colorism on this blog ...

Hell, our hair "issues" are enough, don't you think?

One issue at a time. Inextricably, though, hair and skin issues are usually tied together, especially when it comes to Black folks or people of color. Was reading an article in Essence yesterday that gave me pause.

Apparently, folks are going in online on what Blue Ivy Carter -- the uber famous offspring of Jay Z and Bey -- will look like. Apparently, one too many have said they don't want the baby to look like Jay. Essence columnist Demetria Lucas asked bluntly, "Do we as a collective really believe Black is beautiful?"

Sigh.

Are We Obsessed About Denying Our African Features?

Lucas' column came after Colorlines wrote this piece, "On Baby Blue Carter and the Alleged Ugliness of Blackness."

OUCH!

Writer Akiba Solomon posted just a bit of the vitriol that she said she'd seen on blogs about baby Blue:

"hopefully she gets most of her looks from her mother’s side.”
“thats gonna be one ugly nigga baby with big ass lips and a dirty ass weave.”
“i just hope beyonce genetics dont get over powered by camel genes.”
“I had a dog named Blue! Poor kid—all of the talent and money in the world won’t do her much good if she looks like Jay-Z.”
“I had no idea that that ‘adorable’ and ‘Jay Z’s nose, eyes and lips’ could have been used in the same sentence. I wish them the best of luck though!! <3 <3”
“i NEED pictures cause that baby don’t sound “adorable” She got all the ugly traits of Jay-Z..not to be mean or rude & talk about a kid or nun but that baby sound ugly.”

Well, damn!

Solomon wrote: "walking among stunted souls who traffic in the idea that the full lips, large eyes, broad nose and dark brown skin of a Jay-Z is inherently ugly.” And, sorry, but as a woman with skin the color of chocolate, I definitely don't call Jay "dark brown." My skin is dark brown, not his.

Yet, the online comments above are what some of us really feel, deep down inside, those feelings that we really don't want to admit. As bad as it sounds, we still hear these these kinds of statements -- and worse -- every day.

Just ask any kid on the playground. We are all cumbaya on hair blogs, but real talk: Kids today are still teased and bullied for "nappy" hear and dark skin, so I'm not surprised one bit. It's clear that we still have a lot of self love work to do, when folks call a baby the N-word with big a** lips.

The Power Baby of Hip Hop

Still, everybody and their Momma want to see what Baby Blue looks like. You can expect this from any offspring birthed from the power couple of hip hop or any celebrity baby. But especially this baby.

Folks trashed Beyonce online, said she wasn't pregnant, had a surrogate, you name it. I've even seen purported apps that promised to combine pics of Jay and Bey and tell you what their child would like like. Seriously? This is the reason why a $1.3 million wing was built at the NYC hospital where Baby Blue was born. Really, can you blame Jay and Beyonce?

Even I'm curious to see Blue when she's revealed. But not for the comments above. Sure, I've heard plenty of folks say they wonder if the Baby will look like Jay, and they left it at that. Is that statement inherently colorist?

Maybe, but not necessarily. Many, like me, just want to know what the baby looks like. Just as we'd want to know what any baby of  celebrities or royalty -- and I do think Baby Blue is hip hop royalty -- would look like.

So it is with this child.

What's Really Behind it?

Essence took it a step further. Lucas wrote:

 "If some of us are very honest, we’ll acknowledge that there are only certain “Black” physical features that we as a collective find attractive. Curves? A blessing and curse. Full lips? Eh… depends on how full. Broad nose? On women, not at all. On men? Some get a pass, but not Jay-Z. Kinky hair? Not so much. There’s a reason most Black women “prefer” perms and even a lot of natural girls spend an inordinate amount of time and product trying to reconfigure their coils into curls."

Based on Colorlines' comments, I have to agree a bit: Some clearly hope the baby will take after Bey's more "creole" (Beyonce's reported definition of her family genealogy, not mine) features and, as some have also said, her "lighter" skin. 

But, just because a person is Black doesn't mean they're attractive. Unattractive people come in all races.

I think Jay has mad swag. And if Beyonce likes it, I love it. She's married to him --  not me or any other woman -- so only her opinion counts. Every woman should be with that man who treats her like a queen. I believe that Beyonce has found that with Jay.

 *shrugs.*

I don't necessarily find him the most attractive man in the world (though his full lips look exquisite), but my opinion doesn't count. Who cares what I think? But I love me some Idris Elba, Lance Gross and Djimon Hounsou, with their rich, chocolate skin and features that are clearly, without a doubt, African.

Meh.

I just wish we'd cut Baby Blue some slack.

When Blue is finally revealed, folks are really going to go in. If she looks like Jay, Lord help her. You think the bloggers went in before? One can just imagine what they'll say then. And that's hard for anyone to read because she's just an innocent child. Kids should be off limits on blogs, but clearly most folks don't think that way.

Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What do you think? Do you think people are obsessed with Baby Blue Carter? Is it wrong that we want to know what she looks like? Do you think people are focusing too much on skin color, African features? Do you think we are overreacting?