Y'all got that 'good hair'

By Tenisha Mercer
HairNista.Blogspot.com

Sometimes the limits that we put on Black hair are just amazing ... and not in a good way.

Went to a cosmetology school in Metro Atlanta to get my hair and my daughters' hair straightened. My hair was breaking off something bad (I've lost inches) due to stress and God knows what else (I  am on thyroid meds).

Anywho, the stylist (who was Black) who did my daughter's hair asked her, "What she was mixed with?"

My daughter told me about the exchange in the car and I told her that people think that Black folks can't grow any hair (this particular daughter is constantly weave checked by other Black folks).

'Good hair'

A few hours later, the same stylist asked me the same question, as another stylist did my hair: "What are you?"

I told her, with a confused look on my face -- Black, just plain ole Black! Nothing else, just black. Then she said, 'Well, you must have some Indian in your family.' I told her I do, but I'm overwhelmingly Black and I don't play the Indian up.

You don't see Indian when you look at me (I may have the high cheekbones and a crazy curl pattern), you see Black; that is what you see first, that's what I am. Then she proceeded to tell ne we had that  'good' hair.

This convo was about as stereotypical as it gets:

1. Black folks expect that other Black folks can't grow hair when we all know that's not true. We can grow hair, the issue is retaining it with healthy hair practices.

2. Black folks automatically think that whenever hair is wavy, curly or fine that you have to be mixed with something.

Can we just eliminate 'good' hair from our vocabulary when it refers to hair texture, thickness, etc.  once and for all? As someone whose hair seems to be breaking off at every turn, 'good' hair, to me, is healthy hair that doesn't break or shed unnecessarily.

Why I hate 'good hair' 

I abhor the term 'good hair' and the next person that tells me that is going to get a mouthful.
It's not a compliment, because it makes everyone else feel that they have 'bad' hair or something is wrong with their hair. Any hair that's on your head is 'good' as long as it's healthy -- and that's what I'm going to tell the next person who says it to me.

Usually, the convo is usually, 'Oh, your hair is good so you can go natural. I can't.'

It makes me feel really uncomfortable and I get tongue tied (which doesn't happen a lot). I think, more than anything, I don't want to express my frustration or anger because I really want folks who use the term to actually listen and think about what they say and not just get angry with me (you usually don't learn when you're angry) based on my response. 

But this is has gotta end because all we're doing is raising kids who think the same thing because that's what they're taught. I told the stylist who did my hair that my hair is fine and I wish it was as thick as it used to be. And we talked about how Black folks CAN grow hair; about how many little girls had thick, lush ponytails growing up.

Hair rules
The exchange bordered on comedic because most African Americans ARE mixed with something. If you search back far enough, you'll find it as our history in this country will attest (usually Native American ancestry by choice or Caucasian ancestry often by force).

And even if you aren't "mixed," there are lots of Africans with long hair that defy the stereotype that those with presumably just African genes can't grow their hair. It's a myth, a stereotype that needs to be buried. 

There are many different things that comprise "Blackness" -- from the kinkiest, coarsest of hair to the straightest. Let's take the limits -- hair, skin or otherwise -- off what it means to be "Black."

How do you handle the term 'good hair'?

Straight Hair Revisited

By Tenisha Mercer

Got my natural hair straightened over the weekend at the Dominican salon.

The stylist chided me in broken English for not coming back for two months, but #aintnobodygottimeforthat! My  hair can handle heat, but since so much heat is used at the Dominican salon during the blowout process (even though they do use roller sets to cut down on damage) I can't see it as  a good thing to get my hair straightened with all of that heat every few weeks.

Straightening Natural Hair

So hot, had to put that hurr up in a top knot!

After months of wearing my natural hair curly, I got my curls straightened at Juanita's Hair Salon in Alpharetta.

This is the same salon where I take my girls , but it was WAY past time to get my hair straightened. My ends were a mess and needed trimming badly --- plus my hair was tangling and matting up, even from twistouts and braid outs.

My Experience
I'm always a bit apprehensive about letting someone touch my head.

I'd been to this salon about four years ago for a blow out, but the person who I had then was booked the day I went.

I sat down in the chair, hoping -- no praying -- for the best.

The Results
It turned out well. My stylist asked me a few questions, do I normally wear my hair curly (yes) and how long a blowout will last (a good four weeks with no water-based products)?  I warned her I had some damage, and my tender-headed self winced a few times, even though I detangled.

The result? Lost length in the crown and sides -- and a good trim. Next time, I won't wait as long to get my hair professionally straightened and trimmed.

I love how my hair feels, and will be incorporating a blowout every 3-4 months as a treat. I'm missing my curls already.

Do you get Dominican blowouts? What are your results?

My Daughters' Dominican Blowout: Part 1

The girls' natural hair in Oct. 2011

Natural hair after blow out

Natural hair after blow out

For months, I've debated taking my daughters to a Dominican hair salon for a Dominican blowout.

I thought the heat for the blow dryer would be too hot -- and so I put off taking them.

I thought, there is NO way they are going to be able to take the curdles of smoke and red hot heat from the blow dryer. I mean, these are the same girls who flinched if I barely touched their hair. And I just knew they'd leave the salon in tears.

But, after years of wearing their hair curly, they both wanted straight hair, even going so far as asking for a perm (the answer was "no"). 

Their  Hair Story

Let me back up a little bit. My girls haven't had the best salon experiences, either. Actually, they've been quite negative. Most hair stylists don't want to do their hair or complain because of  their hairs' length and thickness. They've left the salon in tears, from stylists who weren't gentle and probably resented all the time it took to do their hair, while admonishing me to perm their hair when they were 6 and 8. (Nope, wasn't gonna happen).  

Their hair is supa dupa think, and it's proved no match for my lack of hair skills post ponytails. Ponytails, I could handle. But as the parent of a 5th grader and 7th grader, my girls wanted something different. Plus, they've outgrown all of those cute little ponytails and barrette styles I used to do.

Why Momma's Not Always The Best

They wanted their hair straight. But Momma's not a hair genius. No matter what product, or styling tool (professional ionic blow dryers and good flat irons from Sally's), it proved no match for their long, thick tresses.

I only got minimal results. I just couldn't get their hair straight. I'd flat iron it, and it would get somewhat straight. But it never lasted. At worst, it would begin reverting the very same day I pressed it. At best, it would last until the next day or two.

With two thick heads, we all ended up frustrated -- and exhausted -- on wash day. The whole process was laborious, taking hours to detangle, wash, blow dry and flatiron -- for each head! Love hair, but I'm no hair expert. I just felt like I couldn't get the hair thing right.

Will it Work?

Enter the Dominican salons.

Notorious for heat, Dominicans are wunderkinds with the round blush and blow dryer. They're famous for coaxing kinks, curls and waves into damn near perm straight locks with a bend and flick of a wrist.  If you want bone straight locks, with no chemicals, they're the best thing going.

I knew if anybody could get the girls' hair straight, it would be the Dominicans. On Saturday, we trekked to Juanita's Hair Salon in Alpharetta. I warned them about the heat. Told them it would be hot. But they insisted (my warnings didn't deter them).

I tried to detangle their hair at home, but once it was wet at the salon, it tangled all over again. It took about four hours -- and a long detangling session on my youngest, whose hair had gotten super thick after weeks of wearing twists -- but they emerged with straight hair.

The Process

Here's how the whole thing went down:

After a long time detangling at the shampoo bowl, it was time for deep conditioning under the blow dryer. I thought I'd have to check my oldest daughter's stylist, after she used a rat tail comb. I didn't see any ripped hair, so I didn't say anything

What's in that Mystery Mix?

What they use is a mystery. Bottles and  jars of creamy stuff. Some had labels, but I couldn't see that far, LOL. They didn't rinse the conditioner out, but blowdried it in. This goes against traditional advice, which says hair should have little to no product in it for a good flat iron. The only exceptions to that rule are heat damage serum/spray and dabs of grease or pressing oil. And, hydrating the hair with moisture or deep conditioners BEFORE blow drying/flat ironing is recommended.

Well, the Dominican blowout took all of that and threw it out the window. After wet detangling under the shampoo bowl, they washed it, put the girls under the dryer for deep conditioning, and then sectioned and detangled again in small Bantu knots. They didn't rinse out the conditioner or whatever mystery mixed they used, because I could see it foaming up on the girls hair. Maybe this process protects the hair or gets it straighter?

Next, they blowed it straight with a round brush and, finally, flat ironed it pin straight for a finishing touch. (It took not one but TWO stylists to blowdry Mya's hair).

They did an excellent job, charging $55 for a blowout+trim and $60 for a blow dry. Their standard prices for natural hair were $45 for a blowout  + $5 more for long hair. I tipped generously, because it took my youngest a LONG time to detangle.

Overall, I'd do this again in a heartbeat. I plan to have their hair straightened once a month -- no more. Heat in moderation, and trust, their next appointment is already booked. My girls? They're happy as pie. My youngest said the detangling hurt, but she liked the results. My oldest daughter's hair is MBL, and the youngest is WL.

Why it was Worth It

And Mommy? Yeah, I'm good! The girls have trusted my non-hair doing behind with their hair for so long that they're old enough and now it's time for me to hand the hair reigns to someone else who I trust. (In full disclosure, I went to this particular salon a few times in 2009, but stopped going because I no longer wanted to heat train my hair).

I'd much rather fork over the cost to let professionals straighten their hair, and I managed to catch up on some work while I was at the salon.  Yeah, that heat ain't no joke, but I'm hoping that blowouts will stave off their desire for a perm for a looooong while.

What do you think? Would you get a Dominican blowout?