U.S. Navy veteran Rover Bentley (you know good and the hell well his momma ain't named him that) is asking folks to donate a lil sumthing to his GoFund Me page to raise money to help him go to the Beyoncé concert ...
Lawd, I can't.
I mean: The Beyhive goes so damn hard in the paint (this is the last Beyoncé post, I swear, unless she does something else epic). But I need for some of y'all to chill the hell down and get your coins all the way together for this Formation Tour.
First, Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Peaches or whatever she said her name was, used GoFundMe to ask for help to pay her bills after she blew her budget on Powerball tickets (Girl, Bye!). Now, this negro is asking for folks to pass the collection plate on GoFundMe (Boy, BYE!).
Jesus, be a fence.
Listen ... if y'all don't get your rusty behinds together and work overtime, sell blood plasma or take those doggone surveys at the mall, do whatever you gotta do to get your Yonce tickets. Just don't get on GoFundMe asking random folks to fund your foolishness.
This is not what Rev. Jesse Jackson meant by 'Keep Hope Alive.' This is not what GoFundme meant, either. Go fund the Flint water crisis or some water and lead kits - they need your help. Pay for some treatments for kids battling cancer. Hell, go fund a college student who can't afford to stay in school next semester.
Listen .. we know anything that Bey and Jay do is gonna be a grip ... The first date isn't until March -- a few weeks to get your ish all the way together. It's income tax season and everything ... you betta save up, do what you gotta do if you want to see Bey. It's that simple.
Bentley, Jaguar, Maserati or whoever is trying to fund Bey's May 1 tour in ATL. Bruh! You got the whole spring to get your coins up. But he's still talking bout:
Listen .... who? You signed up to dedicate your life to this country, not to no damn Beyoncé. And who calls Beyoncé by a hashtag anyway? No, sir. That is now how any of this works. I don't care if you did 50-11 tours. That's what you signed up for - not so that I can give my hard earned to a vet who wants to go to see Beyoncé. This is false equivalency at its finest.