Just look at the comments on many blogs, Twitter updates, Facebook stats or even in our very own homes when it comes to textured hair.
Let's keep it real, HairNistas.
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The "hate" comes from both sides of the hair fence.
Fresh from the "creamy crack," naturals flub their permed counterparts, questioning their so-called "Blackness" for chemically altering their tresses. Permies are no better, admonishing those with their natural roots to run a get a perm stat or believing their straightened hair is somehow better.
Both are misguided. And both show just how deep the hair pain is on both sides of the hair fence.
Many times, those lobbing the painful hair bombs are often those who we care about the most -- our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, girlfriends, boyfriends and husbands -- which does nothing to ease the very painful sting that Black women feel daily for how we decide to wear our hair.
So, it didn't exactly surprise me when I heard about a club promoter in Atlanta -- a self described lover of natural hair -- offering $5-$10 discounts to naturals for a series of events centered around an HBCU football game and homecoming in Atlanta last month.
With the conflict between naturals and permies bubbling up in a virtual all-out hair war on Twittter, Facebook, blogs and in real-life, the promotion took some naturals aback. Some loved it, because for once, finally, a brother was showing us natural girls -- who, unfortunately are often the topic of disdain from the very same men who look like us -- some well-deserved love.
Others hated it, because, really, how do you know who is "natural" and who isn't? I'm rocking a flat ironed coif today; does that make me any less "natural"? What about those who protect their naturals under straight weaves or wigs? Do they count, too?
And wait, isn't all of this really divisive anyway, yet another way to pit black women against each other. Sounds eerily reminiscent of Spike Lee's 80s cult classic hit, "School Daze" mixed with a healthy dose of the "Good Hair" documentary by Chris Rock.
*Sigh.*
Blogs lit up, with sites from TheGriot.com, Root.com to Essence.com weighing in with news coverage and editorial commentary. The promoter, Joey Digital, later apologized for the hair dustup a few weeks before the events.
No word on how "successful" the discount proved; if anything, though, it did serve to boost publicity.
The events were a fundraiser for FAMU. Unfortunately, the only thing anyone could talk about was this natural hair debate; the event became overshadowed by the controversy, even though the promoter said natural hair was just one of many discounts that he offered on a Facebook page.
I get it.
Naturals are so often looked down upon by everyone else, that it feels good -- for once -- to get some love from your own. Though perhaps well intentioned, Digital's natural hair discounts only served to divide us even more.
Permies, don't worry. It's not us vs. you, nor do most of us who wear our natural hair think that we are better. Heck, most of us have been permed up at some points in our lives. This way of thinking is no better than that "good" hair "bad" hair crap that has so wrongly permeated our culture and beliefs.
Whether you are braided up or locked, twisted up or braided out or your straight tresses are blowing in the wind, let's just show each other some hair love today.
Every day, naturals wear T-shirts and jewelry with unabashed pride for what grows out of our scalps. We say it's "just hair." But sometimes, I really wonder if we believe that ish or are we talking out of the sides of our necks?
Maybe it sounds good, but I sometimes question if we really believe it. There are many days when I wonder is it more than just hair?
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