Wednesday, June 3, 2015

So would you actually go here for braids?

So ..... ummm yeah. Raise your hand if you would actually get your braids done here?

Exactly what I thought ... Chile, BYE! Place looks all kinds of sketch. How can I be sure you aren't going to use hair from a Cabbage Patch Doll in my head if there is no sign on the front door? 

Photo credit: Joel Kurth
Now, Oumy might be able to lay my braids down like nobody's business. She might be able to beat these edges down like the Gawds, but I will never find out, I swear

Braids on Eight Mile Road 
Oumy's is on Eight Mile Road near Kelly in Detroit. And as much of a born and raised Detroit homegirl as I am, this ain't happenin'. 

Some places you just don't go.

The only sign on the front of the building looks like it saw the wrong end of a blow torch. The sign on the side of the building isn't much better: Looks like somebody painted it using a Dollar store paint brush and leftover mistake paint from The Home Depot.

I cannot with you today, Oumy!

Now, I'm fully aware of the term 'hole in the wall.' But that does not mean that I would patronize such an establishment and trust it with my crown and glory! You know how much time I spent on this hair? 

No ma'am and no sir! 

Just why?
If it all goes left and you leave me #teamnoedges, I need to know how to ... ahem ... get recourse, if you will. How do I find you? Especially when the front door is boarded up with a piece of plywood and appears to be padlocked?

Curb appeal much? And just who is 'Oumy'? Is this a government name? Is the number even legit? Bye, Oumy, whomever you are! 

E'rybody can't play in your head
I'd rather have a crooked neck sitting at someone's kitchen table while they're doing my braids, with them eating Chinese, watching Judge Greg Mathis and Maury and running after their bad ass kids, than mess around with Oumy. Or have my head dangling under a kitchen faucet while getting my hair scrubbed with Dawn dish soap, than deal with Oumy's foolishness.

Because, you see, I know what to expect from the hood beautician. Hey, a girl's gotta save coins somehow. But Oumy? I am really not so sure about any of this. Braids and taxes are not exactly complimentary. 

Will be edges be snatched and my taxes done?
Can I pay for my Sengelese twists using my tax refund?
Must I give Oumy my W-2s to get some zillions?

IJS. These are all things you must know.

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