Would you get an armpit weave?

Listen. I generally support womens' ights to do what they want do with their bodies. Even if I would not do it or do not agree. You like it, I love it, your body. But armpit weaves and bedazzling and such is where I draw the line.

Wait. You ain't know? I did not get the memo, but apparently armpit hair extensions are a thing. Yes, a thing. And bedazzling them, apparently, is a thing, too.

Now snatching armpit hair is not my idea of fun. And why would anyone want to look like My Lil' Pony in their armpits is beyond me.

This is just too much. Last week, I heard about this trend of women NOT shaving their arms. And folks were all up in their feelings about it.

Now here y'all come looking like Rainbow Bright under the arms and you want me to agree to this mess? No ma'am and no sirs.


I have so many questions about this foolishness.

How do you attach the hair? Are you corn rolling your armpit hair to attach it? Using Bonding glue? What? Some things you do not need to weave in life. Ever. Because anytime you attach hair to a body part, it is called weaving, arm hair or  not.  And I am not ready for armpit hair weaves, no thank you. So not ready.

Why dye the armpit hair AND Bedazzle it with jeweled stickers? I am just going to leave that one right there. What about hygiene? Ummm ... how do you use deodorant? This trend is on Tumblr in France, and I realize the use of deodorant is not universally practiced.

But for the love of sweet Black Baby Jesus, I need you to use some sort of deodorant ... crystals, lemon juice, baking soda or Degree. Use something. These armpit weaves might hamper that process. And I am not here for any of it in this summer heat.

Who sees this foolishness? I am so not ready. I do not support or condone any of this.You can wear this foolishness if you want to. But no. I am not co-signing any of it. Nope. Not now. Not never.